


traffic lights

by peppsi



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Gen, High School, Multi, RAGING HOMOSEXUALS, Texting, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Underage Drinking, all the heathers remind me of traffic lights, mcnamara likes musicals, vreonica is oblivious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 05:11:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10869792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppsi/pseuds/peppsi
Summary: PLANKTON: ravioli ravioli give me the formuoliPLANKTON: THE FORMULA TO YOUR FUCKING AUTHORITYinspired by heather cubed!!!! its rlly good so go check it out





	1. GO, SLOW DOWN, STOP

**Author's Note:**

> anyways this is my first fanfiction on here!! ahh i hope you all like it!!
> 
>  
> 
> STOP/mr.krabs: heather chandler  
> GO/PLANKTON: heather duke  
> SLOW-DOWN/spongebob: heather mcnamara  
> veronicat/squidward: veronica sawyer  
> altar.of.slush: J.D  
> martha: martha dunnstock  
> betty.fish: betty finn

**traffic lights  
  
Today at _10:50 AM_  
** **  
**

**STOP:** hello ugly bitches

**GO:** why do u keep talkin about urself smh,

**SLOW-DOWN:** yeah heather no need to talk about urself all the time

**STOP:** shut up heathers

**SLOW-DOWN:** which one

**STOP:** i added a fuckin S to the heather aiofusugfr

**GO:** whos heathers? theres only 3

**STOP:** GDI HEATHER 

**GO:** :)

**STOP:** say goodbye to shamoo

**GO:** smh heather

**STOP:** back to the fucking point

**STOP:** what do yall think of veronica sawyer?

**GO:** heather why the fuck are you bringing an innocent bypasser to our occult rituals

**STOP:** SHUT UP HEATHER

**GO:** not rlly that sorry heathre xdd

**STOP:** GPIOGTERTE[TIROIRTR

**GO:** are you bringing,, veronica swyer in our cult because she's like,, hot to you

**STOP:** H E A T H E R

**SLOW-DOWN:** can boTH OF YOU SHUT UP IM TRYING NOT TO LAUGH AT YOUR SHIT

**STOP:** its not my fault grass-ass here keeps shitting me

**GO:** OH MY GOD HAEATHER DI D YOU JUST CALL ME  GRASS-ASS IM FUCKING CACKLING

**STOP:** BITCH UR SMILE IS AS STRAIGHT AS ME

**GO:** yes and that means im smiling

**STOP:** im going to fucking destroy ur ass at lunch just u wait

**SLOW-DOWN:** WHEN HE WAS TEN HIS FATHER SPLIT FULL OF IT DEBT RIDDEN-

**STOP:** HEATHER SHUT THE FUCK UP

**GO:** FIRPFGDOPG GIM LAUGHING

**GO:** YOU ARE A MASTERPEICE HEATHER

**SLOW-DOWN:** anyways the teacher's staring me down gotta go b y e

\--

**nerds **™****

**Today at _12:23 PM_**

 

**veronicat:** ITS A BEAUTIFUL FRIKIN DAAAAAAAAAay

**martha:** I'm so proud of you, Veronica!

**betty.fish:** congrats, ronica

**veronicat:** thanks betty, martha

**veronicat:** anyways i probably wont be able to come to movie night, im rlly sorry :((

**martha:** Oh it's fine! Just have fun!! That's what counts!!

**veronicat:** alright,, thanks martha

**martha:** you're welcome!

**betty.fish:** bring me home mcdonalds 

**veronicat:** fine

 

\--

 

 

**traffic lights**

 

**Today at _3:01 PM_**

 

**STOP:** im going to be taking veronica with me home, alright?

**SLOW-DOWN:** ok

**GO:** ok

 

**GO:** a n y w a y s mac can i come over to your house

**SLOW-DOWN:** yeah sure why

**GO:** cause im bored and i need help with my homework

**STOP:** are u 2 going to make out

**GO:** we don't talk about that

**SLOW-DOWN:** let's play a quick game of truth or dare

**STOP:** ok me first

**SLOW-DOWN:** truth or dare heather

**STOP:** dare

**SLOW-DOWN:** i dare you to add veronica to the chat

**STOP:** n o t y et  heather

**SLOW-DOWN:** you fucking said dare so d o it

**STOP:** FINE

 

**STOP** has added  **veronicat** to the conversation.

 

**GO:** welcome to mcdonalds what would you like

**SLOW-DOWN:** IM LAUGHING

**veronicat:** oooh boy hello

**STOP:** uh hi,,

**STOP:** you will be coming to my house for PROPER HEATHER ETIQUETTE

**GO:** if you two start putting fingers into eacother's vaginas just tell me

**GO:** i live for that juicy detail yo

**SLOW-DOWN:** oh my g od

**STOP:** SHUT UR ASS HEATHER

**GO:**  my ass don't got a mouth, heather

**STOP:** GHFOPHKPFGOIH

**veronicat:** why am i in the heathers again

**STOP:** so you could make out with me

**veronicat:** what

**STOP:** what

**GO:** im screenshotting this, hmu if you two are making out

**SLOW-DOWN:** this is why i love u, dukey

**GO:** ily2 maccie

**veronicat:** can i give y'all nicknames?

**STOP:** sure go ahead

**veronicat:** heather C is mr.krabs

**veronicat:** heather M is spongebob

**veronicat:** heather D is plankton

**SLOW-DOWN** has changed their name to  **spongebob**.

**spongebob:** :)

**GO:** waIT HOLD UP BITCHES

**GO** has changed their name to  **PLANKTON.**

**PLANKTON:** :)

**STOP:** oh my g od

**PLANKTON:** just change ur name :)

**STOP** has changed their name to  **mr.krabs**.

**spongebob:** are you feeling it now, mr.krabs? ;)

**PLANKTON:** ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli

**PLANKTON:** THE FORMULA TO YOUR FUCKING AUTHORITY

**veronicat:** IM FUCKING LAUGHING JFC

**veronicat** has changed their name to  **squidward**.

**mr.krabs:** this is why we cant have nice things

**PLANKTON:** im the nicest thing you could have

**mr.krabs:** bitch since when

**PLANKTON:** since.. fuck

**spongebob:** tag yourself im "im the nicest thing you could have"

**squidward:** im "since.. fuck"

**PLANKTON:** im "bitch since when"

**mr.krabs:** W H A T

 

\--

 

 

 


	2. draive mAe intso the wiall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLANKTON: i just finisehd veronica's make out  
> spongebob: make out  
> PLANKTON: I FUCKING MEANT MAKE UP SH IT
> 
> its friday/saturday and the heathers make a private party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STOP/mr.krabs: heather chandler  
> GO/PLANKTON: heather duke  
> SLOW-DOWN/spongebob: heather mcnamara  
> veronicat/squidward: veronica sawyer  
> altar.of.slush: J.D  
> martha: martha dunnstock  
> betty.fish: betty finn

**mr.traffic lights**

**Today at _4:20 pm_**

 

**PLANKTON:** lmao 4:20

**mr.krabs:** do u smell it? that smell. a kind of smelly smell. the smelly smell that smells..

**mr.krabs:** smelly

**spongebob:** who are you and what have you done to heather chandler

**mr.krabs:** its still fucking me, heather

**spongebob:** i know

**spongebob:** just checking

 

**squidward** has changed the name of the conversation to  **bikini bottom**.

 

**squidward:** be happy

**PLANKTON:** i really am

**mr.krabs:** i want to insult both of you but im too unmotivated to make up an insult

**squidward:** but guys guess what 

**spongebob:** what

**squidward:** it's friday B)

**PLANKTON:** ill be getting the beer

**mr.krabs:** lets have a private party

**squidward:** yeah lets do it

**spongebob:** can we do it at 7:00 pls i have to do homework

**squidward:** yeah weshould do it at 7, ill be hanging out with martha and the gang

**mr.krabs:** ew

**mr.krabs:** u mean dumptruck?

**squidward:** it's dunnstock, heather

**squidward:** like just please dont

**mr.krabs:** fine sorry

**spongebob:** OK DO YOUR HOMEWORK GUYS ILL BE DOING MINE BYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE

**PLANKTON:** bye

 

\--

 

**nerds **™****

**Today at _4:31 pm_**

**squidward:** guess whaaaaat

**betty.fish:** you didnt bring me mcdonalds how dare you

**squidward:** fuck off

**martha:** What?

**squidward:** we get to hang oooooout

**squidward:** ill be off at 7:00 tho, k?

**martha:** Oh goodie!! :)

**betty.fish:** im getting mcdonalds right now, ill meet you guys

**martha:** Okay!! Can you buy me Chicken Nuggets?

**betty.fish:** k

**squidward:** buy me fries 

**betty.fish:** ew no fuck off

**squidward:** ill pay you :(

**betty.fish:** fine lol

**Today at _6:59 pm_**

**squidward:** bYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE gUYS

**martha:** Bye, Veronica! It was fun hanging out!

 

\--

 

**bikini bottom**

**Today at _7:00 pm_**

**PLANKTON:** VERONICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**PLANKTON:** HAUL ASS AT MY JEEP N O W

**squidward:** BITCH I AINT READY Y ET

**PLANKTON:** IM COMING INTO YOUR HOUSE BITCH SO ICAN MAKE YOU READY

**PLANKTON:** LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

**spongebob:** TO DEFEAT 

**spongebob:** THE HUNZ

**PLANKTON:** FDGFDGHHFTH

**Today at _7:20 pm_**

**mr.krabs:** B ITCHES WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

**PLANKTON:** i just finisehd veronica's make out

**spongebob:** make out

**PLANKTON:** I FUCKING MEANT MAKE UP SH IT

**mr.krabs:** oh my gOD

**PLANKTON:** OK LET'S MOTOR

**squidward:** WHY THE FUCK DID YOU WRITE MAKE OUT OH MY GOD

**spongebob:** yum yum here we come

**mr.krabs:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**mr.krabs:** veronica doeSNT NEED TO HEAR THIS YET

**spongebob:** SHE'LL FUCKING JOIN US SOON, HEATHER

 

**Today at _11:43 pm_**

**mr.krabs:** heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey ronciaaaaaaaaaa~~~~

**PLANKTON:** get tthsi gay shit awaiy fro m me

**spongebob:** yr teg on eto talk eghater

**squidward:** i need to stay sober so i can drive all of you jfc

**mr.krabs:** dri ve mAe intsos the wiall and ill moan ur name

**squidward:** who knew heather was this kinky

**spongebob:** did you kno w us heathers have thresomes

**squidward:** i didnt even wanna know that

**PLANKTON:** lannt face

**squidward:**...

**squidward:** OH MY GODF

**squidward:** MAC AND DUKE ARE HAVING A MAKEOUT SESSION INFRONT OF ME

**squidward:** ITS SLOPPY AND G ROSS GET THIS GAY SHIT AWAY FROM M E

**mr.krabs:** maybe we cN dothat moanica ;9

**squidward:** stOP 

**squidward:** maybe ill do it later tho shh

**mr.krabs:** itsp ofcial ur all sleping at my jsoe

**squidward:** k

 

**Today at _1:53 am_**

**squidward:** WHOS MOANING 

**spongebob:** um

**spongebob:** me F UCK

**squidward:** IM FUCKING SLEEPING 

**PLANKTON:** i only eat the finer things in life

**squidward:** cant you ATLEAST moan QUIETER 

**spongebob:** OKAY oh my GOFIEROPF

**squidward:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

\--

 

**nerds **™****

**Today at _7:30 am_**

**martha:** Good morning!

**squidward:** all the heathers are having hangovers

**betty.fish:** aw man rip

**betty.fish:** remember the hangover cure martha gave you?

**squidward:** yeet

**betty.fish:** yeah use that

**squidward:** ok thanks

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> aaa this is one of my first fanfictions!! i hope you had a good time reading it!!
> 
> JD will end up in later chapters!


End file.
